oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
