I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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