walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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