She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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