I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize