Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think my moral compass just broke
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
