is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
