Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
