I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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