have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
