my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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