Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Having a random hookup so left but love u
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
