"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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