my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
