I want to have your abortion
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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