I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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