so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.