Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour

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  (954): i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour http://tfl.nu/3p9u
  Replies (10) Good night (2686) Bad night (1623)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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  (757): 6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter. http://tfl.nu/kp9e
  Replies (42) Good night (5489) Bad night (952)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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  (636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy
  Replies (73) Good night (9340) Bad night (1470)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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  (205): it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it http://tfl.nu/0her
  Replies (11) Good night (5523) Bad night (778)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (44) Good night (15553) Bad night (1661)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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  (717): Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before http://tfl.nu/lay4
  Replies (6) Good night (2715) Bad night (977)
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  (914): View more from New York

  at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.

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  (914): at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock. http://tfl.nu/0hid
  Replies (9) Good night (1730) Bad night (725)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.

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  (248): Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/ylim
  Replies (3) Good night (1351) Bad night (637)
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  (415): View more from California

  Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.

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  (415): Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood. http://tfl.nu/lu5t
  Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (1944)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.

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  (203): I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/rzaa
  Replies (3) Good night (1008) Bad night (477)
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  (650): View more from California

  You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.

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  (650): You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs. http://tfl.nu/uro3
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (341)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

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  (405): So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any? http://tfl.nu/zra6
  Replies (4) Good night (415) Bad night (557)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...

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  (705): He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed... http://tfl.nu/v5ft
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (322)
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  (510): View more from California

  Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?

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  (510): Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"? http://tfl.nu/kfgm
  Replies (3) Good night (363) Bad night (205)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear

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  (781): Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear http://tfl.nu/iszh
  Replies (4) Good night (253) Bad night (571)

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