Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

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  (516): Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke. http://tfl.nu/6p0l
  Replies (8) Good night (736) Bad night (1967)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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  (425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (2001)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

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  (480): gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3 http://tfl.nu/7tkz
  Replies (5) Good night (3255) Bad night (593)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...

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  (920): My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma... http://tfl.nu/z5wc
  Replies (15) Good night (931) Bad night (5267)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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  (616): HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE. http://tfl.nu/qa6s
  Replies (25) Good night (1336) Bad night (4056)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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  (267): Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams. http://tfl.nu/lmv8
  Replies (21) Good night (4525) Bad night (1165)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.

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  (225): Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe. http://tfl.nu/nl8k
  Replies (5) Good night (1950) Bad night (1043)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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  (719): I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/q96h
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (662)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.

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  (231): You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked. http://tfl.nu/mtva
  Replies (4) Good night (2263) Bad night (634)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.

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  (757): We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather. http://tfl.nu/kdej
  Replies (10) Good night (3016) Bad night (634)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, they all thought you were gay.

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  (412): Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls (724): Dude, they all thought you were gay. http://tfl.nu/k7ip
  Replies (7) Good night (1201) Bad night (483)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

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  (678): So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch. http://tfl.nu/2vud
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (308)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  THATS VERY WEIRD

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  (304): Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs? (540): THATS VERY WEIRD http://tfl.nu/x698
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (354)
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  (916): View more from California

  When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!

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  (916): When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!! http://tfl.nu/tjy9
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (248)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.

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  (205): It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life. http://tfl.nu/wzg9
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (173)

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