I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?