So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.