Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1254) Bad night (567)
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  (315): View more from New York

  covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly

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  (315): covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly http://tfl.nu/6dbu
  Replies (5) Good night (2395) Bad night (1217)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.

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  (503): what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed. http://tfl.nu/lo29
  Replies (28) Good night (3168) Bad night (673)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

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  (630): If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries. http://tfl.nu/qapc
  Replies (26) Good night (4445) Bad night (819)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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  (502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p
  Replies (37) Good night (6680) Bad night (1415)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate

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  (508): im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate http://tfl.nu/2b1u
  Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (3309)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.

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  (647): Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/k2zc
  Replies (13) Good night (3460) Bad night (1185)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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  (781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1
  Replies (15) Good night (3195) Bad night (1932)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.

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  (407): Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room. http://tfl.nu/hh2a
  Replies (6) Good night (2743) Bad night (954)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him

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  (602): just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him http://tfl.nu/vcwf
  Replies (9) Good night (871) Bad night (1332)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

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  (912): Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back http://tfl.nu/294t
  Replies (7) Good night (2829) Bad night (869)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex

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  (808): Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex http://tfl.nu/i4z0
  Replies (13) Good night (635) Bad night (3117)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Wat

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  (612): There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday. (763): like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo (612): Wat http://tfl.nu/5jqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1750) Bad night (523)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila

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  (727): Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila http://tfl.nu/16vs
  Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (303)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?

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  (602): We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition? http://tfl.nu/5rjg
  Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (260)

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