Im at strip club and am horny
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
