There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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