If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
