The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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