if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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