i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
