HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
