you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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