***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
