Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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