with your own penis?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
