I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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