She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Enjoy the penises
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
