been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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