You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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