Sry I called you an 8
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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