have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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