Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
