Nicole vs. Life
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
