eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
