take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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