Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
