just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
