ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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