I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
