She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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