I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
