THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dick very happy bro
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
