I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
they need to just BURY HIM!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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