you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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