Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
