RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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