Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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