I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
