"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
