I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
