If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
