i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
