im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize