Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
