We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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