i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
