At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
