I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
