Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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