she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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