so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
