As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So much rum. So many feels.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
