how can u be prego again
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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